In my previous article, I was suggesting that during a photoshoot it would be best to be yourself and enjoy it rather than concentrate on being someone else.

What about in real life? Can we do that?

Growing up as a teenager I was told several times not to do certain things because I am a girl.

My question is why do we have to label in advance what a man or woman can or cannot do? Maybe best to let the individual decide?

So…am I saying that we are equal as in same? No!

When there are inherent differences between man and woman, how can we be equal/same?

What I’m saying is that we should make use of our natural abilities as well as our skills and talents. We should also give an opportunity & respect to a person and not a gender.

In today’s world equality should never even be the question, what should be the question is what traits we posses which the other does not have and how we can team-up, so that we are growing for the betterment of us and everyone else.

At the place of work, rather than concentrating on gender we should look into who is good at what. There is no such definition that women alone are good at one thing and men only can do the other thing. There can be however someone who is more passionate and has a talent towards working with figures and another person who is more creative and would do better as a stylist or designer. How does it matter if it is a man or a woman holding a certain position? What matters is the set of skills the person brings to the table, the talent and also the dedication that he/she is willing to put in.

We all know ‘talent without dedication’ can sometimes deliver less than ‘less talent but 100% dedication’. The key to delivering results and enjoying would be to surround ourselves with a team of people who are:

  1. Willing to work together and respect each team member as well as trust his/her skills
  2. A mix of people from different backgrounds & genders
  3. A set of people who look more into ’how can we achieve this?’ and ’why did our strategy delivered less this time?’ rather than why you and not me.!

As a woman, what should we do if someone treats us badly or we feel if he does not appreciate our real value? I say ignore. One person will not change our world so let’s search for other people, other places and better opportunities.

Let us stop thinking about the problem and look into the solution.

There were instances when for example someone I was addressing looked at my male colleague when I was the one carrying the conversation… so what now? well there are lots of cultural differences especially when we live in a society as diverse as the one we live in. So unless one asks we can’t really tell the real reason. And then again the way one behaves has more to do with who he/she is than who we are.

Let us also not forget that men do feel sometimes that they are not treated ’equally‘. A dear friend of mine (male,) complained the other day that when I put a post on social media saying ’I am sick‘ I immediately receive private messages or comments saying get well soon while if he posts something similar he will receive messages that will say “so what do you expect me to tell you? Get over it!” or “so you want attention now?”

For us ladies, few key things we should look into in detail. Here are my top 6:

  1. Stop finding excuses – Stop thinking “I am a woman that’s why I have less chances”. Let us instead find a way to get that chance!
  2. Support each other –It is not a surprise that women get extra scrutiny mostly from other women. Men know how to support each other, we still have a long way to go.
  3. Don’t overthink – by the time we reach office we are already tired with projecting what could happen and preparing strategies in our head. (more on this soon)
  4. Ask – When in doubt ASK, don’t judge or presume. If we want a certain role/ position let’s just ask for it and see what happens.
  5. Control your emotions – While its good to be sensitive to things, keep a check on emotions, we need to know when to stop and put our rational hat on.
  6. Delegate – We tend to think we need to do it all in order to get the job done. How about delegating and overseeing?

Overall based on my experience men seem to be better into looking at the overall picture while women have more attention to detail, but then again this is not a rule and many exceptions can be out there. Imagine if we work together how powerful results such a team can deliver!

Author: Adriana Usvat